My eldest asked the other day, ‘can we go to that place where they have the trenches when we’re in France?’ I said, ‘yes, of course, that’s where your great uncle is buried’.
Spencer’s taken more of an interest in history over the past year, along side his Dad’s interest and amazing knowledge. What seems like a pretty obvious thing, dawned on me, and I was reminded again of why we’re making this leap to France.
You see, we’ve been talking and planning this trip for some time and the past 6 months has involved quite a stressful time of unravelling my business lease, moving locations and directing my customers into a new direction. It’s taken its toll on me physically and emotionally. I still wake early with my brain somewhat wired to worry and find angst in the smallest of things. The worry turns to questioning the decision, are we doing the right thing, look what we’re leaving behind, will our kids settle and actually learn French and not hate us for dropping them off on the first day in a strange country, strange language, strange people?
But in between the doubt and anxiety, the positive reasons find their way to shine through. My mind often floats to a place where I see Rob and I sitting having a coffee while Charlie plays in a square. I see us walking around local markets, buying produce and looking for inspiration for dinner that night. I see the boys making new friends at the soccer club and watching local rugby. The beautiful images of what can be in France will slowly turn to what they are in France and my heart jumps, chest tightens as the excitement of what will be heightens and draws near.
At the end of the day, this adventure has always been about our family and that’s still what it very much is. Our kids, our marriage, our now and our future. That’s our ‘why’ and I’m sure it will continue to change ever so slightly, but ultimately I hope it will remain the same.
Follow along on Instagram @suzanneacteson and our blog here on @habitots. The French Adventure with me, 3 garcon & an Englishman continues as the weeks to departure draw near.
A la prochaine,